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The Scandal of "O".

Flipping the channels the other day, the discussion arose about premium television and the fate of some shows we watched, the conversation turned to Sesame Street.   This groundbreaking show continues despite funding issues, but now premiers new episodes on HBO.  Nine months later the shows appear on PBS.  Setting aside the fact that the show has been shortened to 30 minutes and the obvious "updates" to the format, I can't see any downside to the arrangement.   Nobody is going to be forced to avoid overhearing Sesame Street spoilers.  I mean, it's not like you will be waiting a year to find out what happened to the letter "O". 

Hey, did you here did you hear about the "O" drama?  That guy is such a diva.  He thinks he is a rock star or something.

I heard that O was caught off set with P in a comprising position.


I heard they found O passed out after the cast party in a pool of piss, crap, and puke.

Tree hell

When we think of trees, most times what come to mind is something like this:

It's green, serene and not at all unsettling.  I grew up with trees like this.  Some had acorns, some had pine leaves and pine cones, some had flowers.  Even when they were sick, they were not the stuff of nightmares.

Since I moved south, I gained an appreciation for another type of tree:

Again, peaceful and serene.  Even in a hurricane, thrashing in a breeze, they don't have a murderous disposition.  I like trees.  I like the shade and the shelter they provide the wildlife.  What I don't like, however, are the murderous death trees in my backyard.

What is a murderous death tree, you may ask?  It's something that looks less like the above and more like the below.

Every branch of this skinny, twisted, murder-plant is waiting to fall on my head at any moment.  I have eleven of these in my back yard.  Eleven!

The twelfth tree is different.  It is not a skinny, twisted, murder-plant.

It is a fat, twisted, murder-plant.

So I was determined to rid myself of these death trees.  After a couple of years and barely surviving a hurricane without a direct tree hit, I managed to gather enough cash and schedule a tree guy.  We planned and arranged and I had him set to come out on Monday.

Monday came and he did not arrive.  I called him.  He explained that he had run into a snag at the job before mine.  He said he would be by in the afternoon or the next morning.  Tuesday came, still no tree guy.  He let me know he was now delayed by a truck problem, but for sure he would be by in the morning.

He came Wednesday around 9:30 am - for about five minutes.  That's when the wackadoo neighbor told him to leave because they wanted to sleep in and didn't want to hear the noise.  He felt he had no choice and left.

What the hell?  Why would anyone even do that?

The thing is, the trees threaten that neighbor's house, too.  So to send the contractors away was not just rude and annoying, but idiotic on their part.  But since they are tenants and don't own the place, I guess they just don't give a crap.  I called the landlord of the place, who was confused why the contractor would even talk to them.  It shouldn't matter.  These are their tenants, they need to get these people in line.  I think she didn't want to deal with it.  That's her prerogative.   But now if a tree attacks their house, no longer my problem.

So Monday, we try again.  Hopefully, no crazy neighbor drama this time.  I'm crossing my fingers.


This New Blog Thing

I know. I'm late to the game. Everyone and their house plants have a blog these days. But screw it. I need as much exposure as possible.

So I've counted this week. Including the six rejections I received, I think six people have read my short stories. I figure at this rate, maybe one hundred people will have read my work before I die.

Now before I get the objections that you, as my friend, read my writing (because let's face it, only my friends will read this blog), I have to say you're dropping the ball. When I write something and post it on social media or message you somehow, share it with people.

I know you feel that shifting the burden to you is all wrong, but hear me out. Here are the advantages to sharing the links to my short stories and books.   This applies to all independent artists.  When you share links for independent and new artists, you make a big difference.

1) You will help the artist achieve their dreams. Personally, I want to have some kind of following before I die. I'm crappy at politicizing and networking. By doing this, you are helping the socially inept gain some acceptance.

2) In case the artist does hit it, you will be able to say that you not only knew them in the beginning, but you actively helped them succeed. This will add exponentially to your geek cred.

3) Every time you're mean to an independent artist, a newbie abuses a comma.

4) Those famous authors you repost and praise don't need the help. It's like tears in the rain. It's huge if you repost an independent, like that big tank of water at the splash park. Everybody is getting drenched.

5) Speaking for myself, I will try my best to plug anything you, as an artist, have done. If I neglect to do so, call me on it.

6) If you don't, I'll tell you five-thousand more bird stories. I know how much you love to hear about how Pikachu sleeps on me.

7) It would just be cool of you.

I will end this with a picture of Tori, because she is cute and because nobody has plugged my writing yet.

Current stories available online:

"Technicolor Peace Joy" won Honorable Mention in Bards and Sages Annual Writing Competition.
"Petting Zoo" in The Dirty Pool.
"The Good Samaritan" in SPANK the CARP.
"The Crap Whisperer" in The Dirty Pool.




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